~10th SqUaD cApTaIn Hitsugaya Toushirou SoUtEn nI zAsE, HyOuRiNmArU*~

2011-12-05T23:22:00.001+08:00

Now she buy a heater. Her heater. Oh well I guess I can benefit.. But....

Oh wells.

2011-12-05T22:57:00.004+08:00

Hi emo world.

Here me, seating by the sea side. Alone. Crying.

Haha. Listening to ichiban no takaramono.

Someoe's by the seaside too. Probably same reason as me?

4th month in hong kong... Yet I dun feel like I'm totally enjoyed myself.

Yea I'm with some friends. Met some friends.

But true friends?

I felt I'm always alone. I may be petty... Thinking too much.... But the only thing I felt at night is loneliness..... I buy things.... I know u all need... I help u all buy.. I share...

But u all got cheap deal.... U all grab.... I have to buy/ get my own deal.

I walk beside... I feel like I'm jus a dog tagging.... It's my birthday this week... But I dun look forward to it.

It's cold by the sea side. But I dun care. Since when who cared.

Boyfriend... He's busy with his own life. He love me yes... I love him too. But... I felt he's a distance away... Not jus the distance.... Bit emotionally too. though ok lah i think the distance played a very big part and a downstream cascade.... When I'm down... Who's there for me. Who's there to understand me?

Daddy... Are u there? I Miss u... How I wish I can talk to the u in heaven...

The temp is cold.. My heart is cold.

2011-11-05T01:13:00.003+08:00

so much for being nice. so much for spending money that I THOUGHT u all will like.
i'm sorry, for this naive mind of mine.

sorry for entering ur life. sorry for trying to be nice.

i know i'm at certain fault here, like trying to force smt on u all.
but thanks for the treatment i get. a total rejection.

no more nice lady.

no more.

2011-11-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

hello emo world.

sometimes i jus hate the night. cos it's when things quieten down and i start to think.

of cos the wrong side.

studying overseas is fun. a different exp.. a good gain of knowledge and environment.

but i dun like that fact that i'm feeling detached from everyone else. like.. friends in sg no longer as close as b4... like i'm on my own here. in a far away land. i might be thinking too much, but i realised ppl tend to like jus ignore me.

oh wells. Hello emo world. i'm here. :/

2011-10-17T00:37:00.002+08:00

while being extreme stress and i saw the date... one month and one day later it's daddy's birthday when he was alive.... so fast. he left us 2 years plus already.....

probably stress or smt but suddenly i missed him alot.

a lot.

daddy y u have to leave us so early.... i haven done anything to let u be proud of yet.. u haven seen me grown up....

i really miss u alot but... what can i do?

why? T.T

2011-09-18T15:51:00.002+08:00

been ages since i blogged. cos have been having a happy life with my darling... till now.

well, i'm not saying she carn have a boyfriend or anything. but y him? someone i quite hate but have to now put on a face that he's my best friend ever.... jus for her.

wtf? and i can see she kinda like him quite a bit....

but.... wtf. tht time was saying abt lies from friends and etc.. and she have already misplaced my trust.

why does this happen to me.... from a nice friendship, to a fine relationship... to like HELL. and is affecting the whole circle of friends.

i dun wan to say, but i really blame HIM for everything. if he had handled the whole issue properly, at least i think now we still can be friends. but.... no.. and is even extending my hate for the grp.. and this feeling sucked. :(

and it is still biting on me.

2011-02-06T00:24:00.002+08:00

i guess all along, wad i've been doing isnumbing myself, not recovery.. but i'm already hating myself.. feeling so miserable when being alone, or even when "couple", regardless words or people appear in front of me... there will only be a tinge of ache, anger, jealously and hatred surging out of me.

i felt like crying, but no tears will fall.. how long can i stand bottling up all these emotions? i wont know.

2011-02-01T10:13:00.001+08:00

anti-couples at the mo :/ haix.

2011-02-01T02:44:00.000+08:00

a reminder.

NOT TO STEP IN AND MAKE MYSELF SUFFER.

jus eye candy. full stop. cos nth will work out.

that's wad my sixth sense tells me.

2011-01-27T23:10:00.002+08:00

reflection.

loads of things suddenly flooded my mind..

in a way, sometimes i really wan to know what others are thinking.. talk abt having edward cullen's skills.

in a way, i dun really know who really are my friends... or rather, i think i'm afraid to trust ppl.

not once have my trust been betrayed.

it's suffocating, but i jus carn stop these things from clouding my mind..

i noe i'm a paranoid person.. and well, annoyed jeremy today i guess during immuno lab.

perhaps i shld start restraining myself and stop becoming so AA? like recently the posts on fb... well i dun deny that i'm kinda enjoying it... especially one of them is now my eye candy :X but so what?

i'm not exactly the kind of miss popular...

is this abt confidence level? or i'm jus a weirdo to everyone?

tbh i really dunno. or rather i dun really know wad to think.. perhaps it's time for a little reflection like wad i'm doing now.. and start restraining myself...

2011-01-25T02:30:00.000+08:00

a new eye candy :X

hmmmm >.< i dunno lahhh :X

2011-01-11T01:08:00.002+08:00

tears fell again.

cos was watching autumn concerto.. haha i guess i'm jus someone who easily cry.

y.. when he was the most impt person in my life.. and yet, i was someone to him, whom he can dump when he got sick of it.

yes, i still feel that i was the one being played. cos no answers or wadsoeva was given to me.

i only know, i was left hurt.. think he carn even be bothered if i were to die? haha.

but since i know he carn be bothered, y does my tears still fell for him?

why, do i still have to feel the imaginary immense pain in my chest?

if time is really the best medicine, i hope time will pass by quickly, to let the wound heal asap. or even better, a new love who will heal my wound...

but i guess deep wounds still leave a scar?

the pain, the hatred, yet the love.. all are so contradictory...

"what u are feeling is a paradox.." yea, but i guess this is the love-hate relationship that ppl say?

i shld have known, i shld have knew. "how much do i mean to u" he carn answer. talk abt woman's six sense, i couldn't really see my future with him.. though i hoped to have a future with him... signs have warned me.. yet i was ignorant... and land myself in this mess...

i'm still hurt...cos i know i still love him... but it was too much for me to see him.. cos hatred onli grows.

y?

he say meeting every sat was a burden, a pain... tht he obliged cos he know how impt it was meant to me... but yet.. i chose to meet him along with my friends, his friends... and not alone.. but as i see him now... he can actually meet them, jus for psp games. wow.. so i HAD been a burden afterall.

it's painful and torturous to hate someone... i wan to let go.. but i jus carn. looking at him... he tot i have recovered.. haha. but no. i still hate him to the core..

a great friendship. 無理です。it's not even near possible. with this hatred i have.

but i hate this ugly side of me as well.. so i'm trying to accept things...

but... i think i really need some help... if not.. i know i'll break down sooner or later...

but who can i turn to.. who can help me?

i really dunno..

助けてください。。。

2011-01-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

i still love him... i know i do...

travelling back home from chalet... the only thing on my mine was how much i hoped tat he's still by my side...

but i know.. this will never happen.

cos it's now jus a one sided love from me...

2010-12-25T08:42:00.002+08:00

will i turn into a party animal?

hmm dun think so since i value my money more for smt else...

but yea... ytd is crazy, drank sapporo followed by Magarita.

but oh wells, lesson learnt once, so i wont get myself drunk since i know it's horrible.

but, all thanks to u that i'm drowning my sorrows on Christmas.

2010-12-22T01:46:00.001+08:00

all the anime i watch... ppl fight for the love they want...

yosuga no sora
hakuouki

but why not mine...

2010-12-21T01:55:00.001+08:00

as always...

y issit only me that's the one who is still hurting....

2010-12-20T23:30:00.002+08:00

someone.. pls fill up this hole in me...

1 year ago was the day we got together.. but we never reach this mark....

y must this happen to me...

2010-12-20T02:46:00.001+08:00

my heart is still aching...

issit really this hard to forget someone whom i love so deeply...

yes it it...

and it's horrible....

y did this have to happen to me....

2010-12-19T02:18:00.001+08:00

y is there still people who are so bastard?

now, i'm losing my control... and.. i carn seem to get it back easily...

shit.

fuck him for being such a bastard...

2010-12-13T19:08:00.002+08:00

tbh.. talking abt it seems not to make me feel better.. but kinda worse...

or rather.. this whole thing... is really taking a toll on me...

maybe my friend is right.. y not jus break off the whole grp and reform one new one myself? wsince i did it once.. y not another one?

but i jus know.. it's never so easy... never...

but.. i really can no longer tolerate those 2... who onli think of themselves.. one who even use friendship to threaten me...
now i can onli hope things will get better....

2010-12-13T04:42:00.002+08:00

as much as i want to.. i still carn get over it...

so much i've given... but this is wad i receive in the end? i realised it has all been a dream...

and how much was it had been true?

"when you believe"

this song was telling us to believe in miracles.. i wanted to, thought there wasn't any problems between us... but never did i know.. that the love was lost sometime ago?

now.. he can laugh, play, enjoy.. but me?

forced to recover from the pain in less than 48hrs.. to locked any feelings i have so as to battle my exams... but yet... still in extreme pain... it took all my control to maintain the face i'm facing everyone now...

kinda ironic.. cos i know we can never go back to the same as before... not when i'm hating so much now... ppl say cos u love that's y u feel the hate. yea.. it's true...

i put in my heart and soul in loving him... accepting wadeva faults he have... but.. what did i receive in the end?

a broken heart. a scar. a wound... that i dun have much time to attain to at times like this...

hormones made me exploded once... i gained back my control... but... how long more can i hold it like this?

i jus need a sorry, a sincere sorry from him... but.. it seems like to him it has been my fault... yea.. my fault for him to play with my feelngs.

2010-12-12T02:33:00.001+08:00

fuck.

like seriously?

y am i the only one in pain.

this is like so not fair.

asshole.

son of a bitch.

that's it.

2010-12-02T23:20:00.001+08:00

i said i'm alright. i said i'm fine... but as the night falls....

i'm jus another weakling...

it's really painful... it really hurts alot...

someone.... close this wound of mine....

2010-12-02T13:45:00.002+08:00

i guess it's all over.

but though there is loss, i gained a lot of friends that i noe i can depend on...

so i guess it's still a gain for me. :)

though sad, but i really happy that i have these bunch of friends who are with me..

2010-12-01T16:18:00.002+08:00

i'm hurting.. like nobody's business?

i want to hate him.. like a lot... a break up like now?

and running away instead of resolving... thinking he's doing the correct thing.. does he even consider my feelings? i doubt so..

unfair to me? this is unfair to me...

auntie, now u happy? breaking up a couple jus like that? now u happy?

now i dunno wad shld i do.... what shld i do?? i fear of being alone... cos once i'm alone, the tears jus carn stop falling...

2010-11-30T23:11:00.001+08:00

pls... dun let this kind of thing happen to me...

お願い。。。神様。。。お願い。。。。

彼は。。。助けてください。。。

pls.. let a miracle pull us thru...

お願いします。。。

2010-11-28T19:14:00.003+08:00

what should i do?

what can i do?

i really dunno... and i dun wan to lose him....

but it really pain me seeing him in pain.. under pressure... everything..

but what can i do?

let him go?

sorry i'm selfish..

i really dun wan to lose him... is there a miracle that can happen to let us thru?

issit so hard for us to be together? T.T

2010-11-23T23:39:00.002+08:00

talking abt doing my reflection assignment.. here i am doing my life reflection. haha.

and it's even tougher without darling there to listen. especially it's something related to that person.

i'm sick of pretending.

he never know how stress i am whenever i'm hanging out with him. how much fear i always have.

and now this.

alrights. it's my fault. for letting out something that suppose to be a girls' thing... cos i talked to people. who further proved me right.

i shldnt have said it out in the first place.

but. neither did i expected it to reach his ears.

cos it's a fact that i dun like that girl. it's not a grudge. it's jus dislike. repelling i would say.

but i'm not even requesting them to "i dun friend u le". cos it's childish. yea.

or maybe what i'm thinking is even childish?

if the friendship between us is so fragile, i'm speechless.

this is like wad had happen 5 years ago. where i "lost" a friend who i tot was my best friend.
due to miscommunication?

oh wells. i said my piece, my explanation. if u din wanna accept it, so be it.

cos there's nth i can do...

i treasure you as a friend. and of cos i dun wan to lose a friend whom i learnt so much from.

i've apologised. but if u want it to be that way, i carn do anything.

but to have things come to this stage...

Darling.. where are you when i need u... a shoulder to cry on....

2010-10-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

disappointment :X

well, kinda expected.. yet unexpected....

guess there will always be restriction and barriers exist :( haiz. i noe is jus a movie lah... but is one of my fav movies.... :(

i dun like the disappointed feeling.. the way he "reject" me...

oh wells, i think this blog will become a place for me complain and stuff, things i think ppl wont want to listen to me complain.

oh wells.

though i noe i still love him loads :X

2010-09-26T23:30:00.001+08:00

有时，爱得很辛苦。。。
有时，不懂得怎么去爱。。。

想找人说话，又不知要找谁。。。

心里好烦，但我能怎样。。。。

2010-09-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

a day... i have to remember >.< <3 :$

2010-09-09T00:58:00.001+08:00

everytime like that...

everytime..

is even communication so difficult?

y am i always getting so angry/pissed over things that are so small? things i noe are jus blame stupid and dumb.. and onli show how petty i am...

but i jus carn ignore the fact... that at times i'm lonely...

like today... honestly sincerely speaking... i'm damn extremely disappointed...
all i wish.. is jus for him to be my side... that i can spend my time with him... doing things that i noe he'll enjoy...

but it always will be jus my wishful thinking cos it's never come true...

it's not once or twice... that i really wan him to come to be by my side.. times when i noe he's free...

but that can never come true...

never....

2010-08-09T00:44:00.002+08:00

i realised...

i got my wish to be a cosplayer...

but i also realised....

i never get to do something i want to do...

i just want a costume that i love...

is it that difficult?

2010-07-21T18:18:00.002+08:00

a day out with li zhen arnd singapore to settle the yog stuff...

which made me realised... i nid to shift my FOCUS.

it's precisely my world has been focused and surrounded him too much, that a slight negligence i carn take it.

it was a relaxing trip, not once i felt insecure, uptight, breathless, worrying.

i guess that's wad dar meant for me to go out with friends. :)

so now that i noe, it's time for me to relax :)

to chill off my head, to relax myself. macau will be a good thing :)

thanks dar~

2010-07-21T00:49:00.002+08:00

i din know i'm so sticky.
i din know i'm gonna be a person that wants a lot of attention.

i'm trying to change it cos i noe it's not a good thing...

but sometimes i jus wonder....

how much do i really meant to him?

is it so hard for him to sms me?
to talk to me?
all i ask... is to hear his voice, feel tat he's with me.
from the photos we take, i can see the love for me..

but still... at times i jus felt it's only me...

i nid an assurance. an answer. a confirmation...

i dunno lah :(

i onli know.. i love him a lot...

what a "nice" thing to think abt when the 7th month passes....

2010-07-10T01:08:00.002+08:00

i never know that 我是一个占有欲很强的人.

what can i do to overcome this side of me?

things going on in my head... and i realised jus tiny bit i cdan get very unhappy.

issit jus cos my plans are spoilt? or that this possessive me acting up?

i dunno...

2010-07-08T23:35:00.002+08:00

woah. eventful week xD

well of cos the best will be during.. COSFEST!!!! woots!

well first day i did kaito, then 2nd day the usual FSN rin... i made more effort in make up xD hehe~~

know a lot of new friends~ and etc lah xD well, it's Cosfest IX - Let's Make Friends :) yuyuan was like: "y u everywhere also got friends one LOL" xD well~~ i dunno xD

but i guess, time for new project xD i wan couple cosplay :X ><

then ytd.. the fake tanabata xD 7 July mah~ hahaa full day date with darling :X another day to remember :X

met at my hse then we went out... to of cos... JUBEAT xD hahaha played 4 times straight then one more time at iluma.. after jubeat at dhoby we went take neoprints ^^ nice ones ^^ yay~~ dar too long never play le lah. then.. muahahaha. beat him in bass2bass and natsu matsuri.. darling so sore lor :X in the end he win me in bass2bass. cos i suddenly lost the pattern xD

then went to meet derrick and mingyue to eat at tonkichi xD sweet sia xD nice food... die.. gain back the fats i lost :X haha~ but nvm~~ happy day~

then dar wake me this morning~~ omg i feel so blissful >.< hahax~

been so long since i felt so blissful and happy le.. cos well, past few weeks many things happen.. mostly not so happy ones. haix.

oh wells, now. SDBF. omg so stress >.<

k lah signing off~ ^^

love my dar <3

2010-06-27T16:26:00.002+08:00

lots and lots of stuff going thru my mind and happening...

am i jus being too "gei kiang"? or jus that no one ever understand or notice how am i feeling..

i dunno lah.

2010-06-15T23:39:00.002+08:00

fuck lah. seriously fuck lah.

bad mood? i also bad mood. u dun give a fuck i also dun give a fuck.

I CARN BE BOTHERED.

i whine? this is call whining? fuck lah. fine. u wan me stop whining, U STOP GIVING ME SHIT.

is anyone bothered to see how close Cosfest is anot? and the things not done or settle? y issit me always the conscious one and have to remind everyone, and yet the one kena the most?

now it's my fault. darling's wig got screwed, my fault. not asking for help, my fault. not knowing we onli cosing day 2, my fault. archer cmi, my fault. enuma not done my fault.

YEA LAH EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT LAH.

FUCK LAH!

2010-06-15T10:56:00.002+08:00

there's actually a lot of things i can write here... but i guess it was all blabble out to people...

welll the past week till at least ytd wasnt a good week.. despite all the jubeating....

jubeat was fun.. and i'm attempting the songs that dar always play.... so yah.. guess i'm improving? hahax.

でも。。。

shoulder/knee/top arm injury
stroke not right kena said repeated and scold.

i noe. i noe. all the things u all said i noe... but how? i dunno wad i can do le.. i'm already doing my best... i'm trying!! but i jus carn get the thing u want? wad can i do?? i really dunno.... i'm... tired... tbh.

work

well good and bad.. jus that got 1 day was so bad and worse that i really dunno wad i can do or wadsoeva... dun even noe how to react... 疲れた。。。分からないでしょう。。。

generally is like that lah... which already can ruin my whole week or emotions.. since my life now is jus training and work training and work... haix.

then din get to hang out with dar much when he book out... cos he nid book in like less than 24hrs he book out... and due to some issues... this week i might din get to spend time with him again.... どうして。。。家族が重要です。。。でも。。。あたし？私はどうなの？

it's a good thing that he put 家族 as first place.. 本当にいいですよ。でも、私はちょっと寂しいです。。。

haix i dunno lah. well ytd was kinda fun, until my day was totally wreck at the end..

jubeat was fun... bass 2 bass, true love, in the name of love, evans extreme! though i din clear the evans extreme lah. lol... fun though.. marcus is sure my best partner xD thanks bro!
then yuyuan came and went to my house... 捡宝she say. LOL there's nth for her to pick up lahhh haha lol...

then go see sinseh... omg pain....... but of cos i din scream in pain lah... jus that now still a bit aching.. but i think i'll be fine LOL.

then at night... where my happy mood was totally entirely wreck...

going solo huh.

i had a big reaction to it. damn huge. despite it's joking or not.

but now. i think i dun care le. cos i jus realised. i'm been putting so much effort to even begging ppl to stay and etc. well, i did get the correct response back, but i realised no one else even bothers. Archer? i doubt anyone is dealing with the issue. Lancer no wig? i find i make effort but oh wells he's my dar so ok i dun mind. saber wig? i tie. costume check, make up, body art. me.

and the worst. last min work. ME.

everything is me me me me me. but did anyone cares? y am i always the one clearing shit. i gave advice, i pre warn, but anyone bother anot? NO!

then i have to clear the shit.

bravo!

i think it's time i shld wash my hands and let go. not matter how lonely i felt. y i had a big reaction when someone wanna go solo? cos i felt i'm being left behind as ppl left. i noe it's unavoidable. but let's jus say i'm selfish. i still wanna do things with everyone together.. 1 year slogging our hearts out tgt... the feeling and emotions is there. but it's seems like onli i felt it.

2010-06-02T00:57:00.003+08:00

darling outfield for this week... so haix... a week with no contact to him AT ALL :X endure bahx... but in a way cos i'm so drained out i'm not so badly affected so i guess still alright..

had a heart to heart talk with darling on sat.. but it jus make me think although he din wan me... in a way, i noe the problem existed right from the start.. but i never noe it'll get so serious... now, i'm jus scared of losing him... jus cos of this stupid reason. i really love darling a lot...

then like today... in a way have another encounter of similar issue cos was talking abt City Harvest cos my friend from there then lend her the newspaper to read regarding that.. then kinda touch on the topic again... she's like "u noe by right he shld not be with u"

in a way that kinda hurt me... but also led me thinking... is dar facing this from his mum as well? :X

i dunno and i dun wan to think... cos i love him and dun wanna lose him... can someone show me a way? :(

nvm.. take a step at a time i guess..

next...

haix.. bring things back for family to eat also kena scolding.. although is like good food.. what shld i do? being nice also like that. not nice also kena... zzz what can i do??!!

好烦啊！！

助けてください！！私はぜんぜん分からない。。。

2010-05-16T23:17:00.001+08:00

13 may 2010.... first date with dar after he enter NS ^^

2010-05-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

HE'S OUT OUT OUT!!!! <3

now i carn wait to see him!!! >.<

argh!!!!

2010-05-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

darling is booking out!!!!! finally after 17days of wait :X

guess like wad everybody say.. the first week was the toughest lah... plus i still got exams :X but i guess now ok le... though i still carn wait to see him!!!

mix feelings though... but i still got more than 24hrs b4 i can really get to see him in his face :X

oh pls let time flow faster for now and slows down where thurs come :X

precious time truely precious...

miss ダダ :X

ARGH.

2010-05-10T23:41:00.003+08:00

i realised... apparantly everything or anything i do now kinda remind my of dardar...

jubeat
shopping at bugis
BUGIS

etc

everything...

jus realised how much dar has meant to me now... that everything i see, do, i'll think of him...

jus 2 more days... 3 more to be able to see him....

ダダ、あいしてる。。。
miss you :X

today went to watch movie Ip man 2 with jocelyn, lee kiang, jacjac and sein yan... then after that cindy joined us.. lol movie not bad.. got to play my arcade (hehe) then bought a earring lo ^^ lalala~ haha

SPICY TUNA IS SPICY!!!! y darling like like it so much :X hahaha.. oh forgot he love spicy :/

k lah.. got to sleep.. zz tml training.. hope i wont die somemore :(

JIA YOU DARLING!!! ^^ he ippt tml :X

2010-05-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

ahhhh darling got knee injury!!! T.T how~~~~ T.T

宝贝要平安无事，come back to me in 1 piece!!! T.T

left 3 more freaking days le!!! 4 more to come back to me!!! >.<

ENDURE!!!

2010-05-04T03:29:00.001+08:00

seriously. fuck BS106.

never in my life i hated bio. this is the first. even 102 din make me hate it so much...

seriously feel like dying. and wad i jus finish chapter 5 onli. still got 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 in wad. 3 hours...

ARGHHHHHHHH

2010-05-04T00:06:00.002+08:00

jus a short post i guess...

been reading a bit of my past posts.. seeing how much i post abt alvin last time.. D= ... HORROR!!!

guess i was really really jus er wad. DUMB xD

but i guess some stuff is still interesting to read.. but some stuff... i dunno wad i typing LOL..

but nevertheless, i happy now.. (despite the fact 106 is killing me)

with my darling there for me.. though he now confinement in NS.. ARGH!!!! that totally sucks.. but i'm ok le lah :) after a week it doesn't hurt that bad liaos.. stare at his sms i'm blissful enough~

though i still carn wait for him to come back on the 12, and back to me on the 13...

and i guess all the horrid trainings starting. zzzz

wish me luck on surviving xD

ytd had a nice talk with a new friend.. ok lah is godbro's gf. OMG TOTALLY HORROR... nowadays kids ar... like wad i concluded "ppl born after year 91 are damn fierce on their sexual desires" totally true =.=

speechless. LOL

k lah back to get killed by 106 T.T

someone save us tml? 助けてください T.T LOL

じゃね～

2010-05-02T12:47:00.002+08:00

today's the 7th day already~~~ 10 more days!!!!! >.<

darling smsed me ytd... kinda felt happy~ :X but it also showed me how deprived i am in talking to him >.<>.< nvm~~~ endure endure~~~

ok lah.. shld goes back to my mugging zzz 頑張って！！！！

2010-04-30T22:25:00.003+08:00

5th day...

i guess it's getting more tolerable... though i still miss darling a lot... guess blogger's my only outlet... so readers.. hehe ごめね～ but i also doubt got readers lah hahaha!~~ :X

well i guess this is also a way which i can let dar noe wad i thinking.... when especially now his batt flat so no sms >.< after when he come out can read lah~ haha :X

though i got nth much to type also... my days are kinda~ routine? :X

study, work, training...

I WAN MY COSPLAY LIFE!!! :X

haix... think i totally turning otaku liao :X hahahaha.. ok lah shall watch my anime :X anime that i also download so darling can watch when he come out :X

darling, love u >x<

2010-04-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

i guess today's not a day for me or for dar..

me... i guess jus exams.. minor....

din manage to receive dar's full sms.. but i can feel he's moody... my heartaching for him.. but yet i carn do anything... i feel so helpless...

and i really miss him alot....

NS faster return me my love T.T

13 more days.....

2010-04-29T03:51:00.001+08:00

思念，谁了解？

i have never known or guess or wadsoeva that missing someone can be this bad... someone, that u love wholeheartedly....

previously i missed my dad, but cos i noe i carn have him back, the pain is not so extreme...

but now, is someone i noe he's out there on the island... and yet i cannot talk to him as much but onli pines away....

i really really miss him a lot...

and it's only the 4th day....

life sucks, take drugs, suck thumb....

ARGH!!!

darling, faster come back to me... pls~~~ T.T

2010-04-28T11:53:00.002+08:00

it's morning.. ok fine going afternoon :X but the first thing i woke up thinking... was him...

always on my mind every min every sec... i noe i noe.. i also wan concentrate... so dear brain and heart, can let me stop thinking about him? cos i nid to keep my "hard drive" empty for exams... :X

"dun put in too much emotions and feelings lest u get hurt"

errrr... too late le :( haha~

and CHOY.. xD

well then, back to my studies~~ :X

ダダがいないのを寂しく思う (dunno correct mah since i copied from the dictionary :X)
simply jus saying... i miss you~ :X

2010-04-28T02:17:00.002+08:00

jus a call... i'm over the moon xD but i guess wad was told to me is true.. i'm too deeply involved already... haix.. good thing, bad thing... i dunno.

and wad i jus heard... so i'm being looked down to that extend.. yet. i agree. my study method jus sucked... totally.. u can even say wrong study method totally... but... is not i dun wan to change.. i just couldn't.. or rather... it's hard.. and i'm trying.. for sure...

I'M SERIOUSLY JUST NOT THE STUDIOUS KIND!!!!

i got extremely low concentration... but that's not my fault rite?

to the extend that i even think... so u telling me i shldn't even get into a relationship...

probably...

but!!!!

ARGH!!!!

can someone jus understand me?

i just hate exams....

2010-04-27T21:10:00.004+08:00

第幾個100天 By JJ Lin

我把愛鋪成藍天
讓不安的你一抬頭就看得見
我把心燒成火焰
讓怕黑的你擁著溫暖入眠
我曉得時間如雪有時候會覆蓋一切
但是真愛一如倔強會重生的綠葉

第幾個100天還是很有感覺
用眼睛去素描你內心的世界
第幾個100天也像剛熱戀
兩個人手一牽連命運都改變

我把心燒成火焰
讓怕黑的你擁著溫暖入眠
我曉得時間如雪有時候會覆蓋一切
但是真愛一如倔強會重生的綠葉

第幾個100天還是很有感覺
用眼睛去素描你內心的世界
第幾個100天也像剛熱戀
兩個人手一牽連命運都改變

曾有的敏感脆弱
在我的胸口你就躺下來別說了
將有的固執沖動
我也會擁抱你安撫著體諒你心疼著

第幾個100天還是很有感覺
用眼睛去素描你內心的世界
管過多少100天也像剛熱戀
兩個人手一牽連命運都改變
當守護變信念連淚水都很甜

my new song additction... well dunno y this song kinda express my feelings now... the pining, the missing... everything... ok la haha a bit not relevant... but here it goes.. haha

today's paper not well done i guess... din study for it at all :( is not i wan.. but i guess my body jus fails me... but i guess i have to work harder for the other papers... din wanna let my friends down.. family... and especially my darling...

anyway kinda weird.. now that i have a 彼しい.. emotions and views kinda change... haha... guess jus another phase of life to grow up to? haha~

every night anticipates the sms i get.. ^x^ seems like Wii Juilet 2. hahhaa... ok better stop my otaku mindset. xD haha~

じゃあね

ダ～頑張ってね？愛してる～ <3

2010-04-26T10:45:00.000+08:00

and so in he goes >.<

i noe i noe. it's jus 19days, jus a routine, NS, well all guys go thru that wad.

i noe i noe...

jus that it's kinda a complex feeling... unable to describe....

ytd i was complaining all the way, and now, i noe i'm furiously mugging like crazy... (cos well, haha~ last min =.=)

in a way, carn wait to see him botak <3 haha~~ the thing he dread xD since he love his hair so much~~~ hahah :X

well, it's 10.45am, the time he offcially enlisted.

jia you my darling~ :X

2010-04-25T19:39:00.003+08:00

am i so not recognised?

what i'm seeing now and feeling now, seeing my comments always got deleted... it jus feel that i'm so not recognised, like someone hiding in a relationship...

in a way i dun understand... or am i really such a bad person?

or...

am i a person not fit to be someone's partner...

i dun wan to think of it that way... but... when i see this happened again... there's always a sour feeling in my heart...

am i really so not recognised.....

T.T

2010-04-20T02:05:00.003+08:00

another sacrifice i made for dragonboat...

the chance of working at Underwater World... a dream, a passion i have since wad.. o lvl days?

applied once during A's. din get... this time round i applied.. yes i got it.

but.. for one.. the job scope wasn't wad i wanted.... but it's ok... cos it'll be an environment i probably love?

次ぎ、the timing clashes with DB.. that's for sure...

dar asked me... medal, or passion?

in a way.. i not sure... cos DB is also another passion... jus that it also become another commitment... but on the other hand... i do have unhappy times in DB.... that's y dar ask me that question....

melvin gor told me... DB wasnt everything, or life... i agree... that's y i'm in so many club activities and etc... YOG, Cosplay and everything.... i'm greedy.. extremely... cos life's short... i want to try everything...

in the end i chose to sacrificed Underwater World... based on the fact i believe the job scope will not be something i'll like.. and also the job scope will be somewhat similar to wad i'll be doing in another job i accepted on mainland...

talk abt reality and dreams. haix...

next thing on my mind...

something i cannot readily say, but i think i really need someone to talk to? the uncertainties of the future, the progress in reality, the mentality cultured, yet the mindset of another.

everything is contradictory... and a decision that is hard to make.. especially this one... a tough one i would say.. one that nid serious thinking...

some ppl might jus say, come on, the times have change... but for me... i dun care the reality times, i care about the mentality my peers have...

a dilemma i faced.

ppl might say it's not much of a dilemma, i can jus stick to my own principles and decision. but.... the progress of reality..

i really dunno lah....

perhaps time to focus back to studying since exams are here?

but at times i jus carn get it out of my head.

talk abt 山田. hahahhaha =.=

じゃね。

2010-04-18T19:14:00.002+08:00

my prince charming found. but in exchange, i realised some of my freedom gone...

the freedom that is taken away is actually for my own good, especially in times like now...

EXAMS.

but...

for now, it's ok. what about the future? am i suppose to be like that everytime? honestly, i even have the fear of going online now...

yea u can say it's good....

but in a way i'm feeling restricted....

i realised i have to watch every step i take.... so as to not adding on burden to him....

and also for my ownself i guess...

but..... haix.

治标不治本啊！

2010-04-11T11:01:00.002+08:00

i've never ever laughed so hard and so much in my life ever since sec sch days...

well, attended gavin gor gor's 21st b'dae ytd and met up with the usual sec sch band guys and friends... Victor, kong ming and etc.. as usual, casper and yuchang were the jokes.. hahahahaha.... seriously lah~~~ but really long time no see them le sia.. all changed a lot :) more mature :)

cos why? they played dai di... and when casper went out to take drinks or smt, yuchang took his cards and ask the rest want to swop anot! HAHAHAHHAHA seriously lah~ so bad leh they...

then second round dar became partner-in-crime tsk tsk. haha...

but seriously lah, very long never laugh this hard le... and the feeling is great :)

Sec school friends are still the best... (EXEPTION TO THE COSPLAY TEAM xD)

honoured to have these siao but great friends :)

2010-04-03T09:26:00.002+08:00

i felt the anger, cos i noe, i love him too much :X

"it's too late to turn back now" :/

it's time to take a deep breadth, and let go of that anger, cos i noe, is not i dun understand, but jus the selfish and perfectionist part of me wanted more. and i nid to let go, to make myself feel better.

have to be more understanding. have to. ぜったい.

2010-04-03T01:38:00.002+08:00

guess these 2 weeks really sucked. to the max.

last week was last week. these week. guess wad. kinda pressure and xiong on dar for a bit.

honestly, i din mean to. but in a way. i wan/hope for more.

i noe the circumstances, the situation. hence i kept things to myself. trying not to demand anything.

but... i want. i got wants. can i jus demand for a tiny little bit? or expect jus a little more?

should i feel angry or pissed?

or should i jus close both eyes and really jus shuddup?

i dunno.

i only noe... i really wan you to be my side. always.
not bothered by ANY restriction.

a selfish request.

2010-03-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

today ish funnnnn xD

morning lesson then went out with darling ^^

wanted to watch Kaiji but tickets all sold out! even the 7pm show we were late by like 5 secs.. omg

so in the end we jus watch How To Train a Dragon 3D. lol 10 dollars >.< 高い～～

then cos the show is quite late, we had about 2hrs plus to spare, so walked to dhoby ghaut to play jubeat, eat dinner and buy some tidbits lo...

then walked back and went to Heeren ^^ bought dar a cap for his birthday ^^ as well as for his army xD sHpdd ~~ ^x^

then went to watch the movie... NO MORE HEARTPAIN ON THE PRICE... COS DAMN NICE!!! AND CUTE!!!! omg~~~

*punch* "this is for scarying me"
*kiss* "and this is for everything"

awwww

but most cute is the Toothless the dragon!!!! awwww~~~ >.<

time with dar is always enjoyable and super 幸福~~~ ジムダダ、ありがとう＾＾

"true love is loving someone over and over again"

damn true ^^

ダダが大好き～～ありがとう～～

2010-03-23T20:44:00.002+08:00

yes i noe lecture is recorded.
yes i noe today's last water training before competition.

and i opt for lecture.

and i was asked.

"today's last training for competition. last water training leh. i dun understand y u carn jus spare the time to sit down and watch lecture. i really dun understand."

words that stabs my heart. i was shot with this while looks from others like jus agree with this.

like i'm in the wrong.

like i should have opt for training.

yes. i can sit down and watch the lecture. i can spare the time. i shld.

but y din i?

the last time i pon, i took 3-4hrs to finish one lecture.
i'm behind on my tut and studies.
i'm not sleeping well. with knocking out and abrupt waking in the morning. sleeping in lectures and everywhere else. today i even overslept and pangseh my buddy for OST.

instead of using the time to watch lecture, y dun i go my lecture, train ownself later and use the time to do more studying?

everytime i said i wan study, i only noe after a while i knocked out on bed. as in total knock out.

i only noe, i have not been sleeping well for the past few months.

wad chiho said: "you'll collapse anytime sooner or later"

i noe.

but wad can i do? i'm trying my best for everything. Studies, training, principles and my dreams.

i'm already putting my dreams behind till at least exams over.

honestly. i really dunno le.

i'm tired.

2010-02-28T00:54:00.002+08:00

months has passed, but i guess no matter how strong i am, i'm still a girl, a human....

issues on money, finance, suggestion on how to "get" money....
i guess things just pop out when i jus mention the macau trip.

yah i noe it's jus 1k plus... i shldn't even complain "no money" when i jus went japan last year, which cost a lot more....

but let's jus say, japan trip is a dream come true, macau trip is an obligation.
which one will u feel the pinch of the $$ more?

and a "brainwashing money" talk by my aunt. wow.

selling the hse and live with them...

i dun mind.. at least i get to live with Hunter...
but sell this hse i call home for 20 years.. this never cross my mind.... never. especially not now or near future.

cos it contains 19 years worth of memories with my dad. who left with many regrets in me..... tons of things......
talking abt that he left i'm ok... but taking away his things.... no way........

jus a mention of this led to tears dropping like never ending.....

and it onli make me realised how much i missed him... the laughter, the loud voice of his.... i guess that's where i get my loud voice.... haha......

i guess i've been running away and putting a forced front? i dunno....

being pessimistic or held back by the past? 分かります。。

2010-02-22T21:27:00.002+08:00

i dunno why i'm typing this. these things shldn't even pop into my head.
but i guess this is the onli outlet i have.

i no longer noe y i'm going dragonboat for... i dun see the thing i wan to see most anymore. all i noe now is i onli see the fear of training(who dun? haha...) and er.. training for competitions.

where's the team bond i used to c? the friendship i liked so much? or rather.. i find myself fearing ppl more than trying to me friends. seeing ppl like hate me/dun like me... talking abt low self esteem? i dunno. さびしい～でも、there's nth i can do? how can i erase my fear?

this sem i realised.. i'm starting to pon lessons for DB stuff... and it's going against my principles... i dun like it. honestly. no matter how useless or chui the lesson is, it's still a lesson. i'm paying 7k per year for all these lesson and a piece of paper. and i'm not exactly doing well like others are doing.

honestly, i'm not feeling comfortable. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I EVER PON SO MUCH LESSONS. be it elective or core. oh yah. tml ponning core for training. WOW. i noe there is online lecture. but!!!! T.T

seriously i hope i can talk to someone.... someone who can understand how i feel and yet tell me wad to do.. cos for now.. ppl might be seeing me as a "puppy" tagging along ppl, following wad the MAJORITY is doing/shld do....

recently ppl/things are telling me that i'm not showing my trueself, i'm jus wearing a mask in front of ppl....

i guess so? cos no matter how i dun like a thing, most of the time i dun think i have the stand/position to oppose it or wadsoeva. wad shld i do? i really really dunno... who can i talk to????

honestly, dragonboat no longer let me have a sense of leisure... but a stress factor... i dun feel the family.... really. :(

though i have to say i had a super ultra nice senior as a buddy.... want to thank her a lot for everything.... think will do smt :)

ok c how it goes bahx... time for dinner...　いただきます。＾＾　そして、勉強します。haix~

2010-02-14T20:14:00.002+08:00

ok! first day of CNY

basically, there's nth i can do since i'm not allowed to spend it.

still, wanna say...

"daddy, happy new year :) are u spending well up there? miss you though :)"

first new year without dad. kinda quiet.... haix.

well, guess life has to go on :)

i'll treasure the present dad gave me... in a way..... that's my dar :X

internal story. dun ask xD

じゃね～

2010-02-12T23:55:00.001+08:00

thanks dar. for tdy.

love it alot. especially the キッス :X ありがとう～

another page added to my memory~ ^^

2010-02-03T14:09:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

first time i'm like told i cannot donate blood cos low iron... WTHHHH!!!!!!!

T.T i wan cry le lahhhhh.... kns.

zzzz.......

2010-01-20T23:55:00.002+08:00

a day to remember. memory to keep.

1st month anniversary.. went out with darling to dhoby ghaut.. can say is our favourite place cos movies and mostly imptly ARCADE AND NEOPRINTS. hahaha

went cathay to astons to eat. dar never go cathay b4 loled. hahaha :)

went clarke quay to ton anyway. starbucks his favourite. xD

そして。。。キッス。。。初めて>.<

things to say but no words can express... ジムちゃん～大好きだよ＾＾

あいしてる～

a small outing with nth much, but everything meant a lot to me.
ありがとう。。。

2010-01-04T21:14:00.003+08:00

31 December 2009/1 January 2010

COUNTDOWN WITH FSN TEAM. ok is 6 guys and me onli girl. wth. but nvm lah ^^ romantic night with my dar dar ^^

first went to my cousin's housewarming party with dardar. then went off to meet the guys for countdown. meet them at dhoby ghaut to play arcade first :) dar dar extrememly pro at jubeat. zzz. Zi bei... lol

played till 11.30. then chiong to marina square. jus in time for the 花火＾＾ first countdown attached. first countdown for dardar. our first countdown tgt :) wish for many to come >.<

then we went watch AVATAR 3D! woots. sweet. damn nice. hahax. very very nice ^^

then went drinking at the marina square steps. well. kinda is a bad decision? >.<>.<

reach home at abt 8plus so yah. had a really fun and sweet night though ^^ heex.

2nd January 2010

can say is the first proper day of the year 2010. well, morning training then went out with dardar. brought him to a special place to eat cos the place damn nice :) enjoyed it a lot and get to know dar dar a bit more ^^

3rd January 2010

morning training. then at night a gathering at Cafe Le Caire, an arabic cafe.
well i have to say organisers had a nice effort but serioiusly the cost and place and time management. if i really had to cab home, i think i'll avoid all DB outings ever again.

the gathering actually made me realised something. am i really on the team? as in, my batch ppl. although most of them are my team mates for like 2 years. sometimes i do still feel detached from them. and especially, last night. it's my seniors that make me feel the warmth and everything. haix. or issit really, i'm too weird to hang out with them? >.<

しらない。

4th January 2010

well went out with gina :) went to eat at aston. VERY NICE ^^ think will go again with dardar ^^
then went to take neoprint with gina :) hahax. but well, the wallet's already full with photos. of dardar's :X heex

went to xu lao shi's hse after that :) WOW SHE SLIM DOWN A LOTTT. O.O now very pretty le. hahax :) caleb and ian also very big le :) guess time really flies. :)

ok lah. guess i nid to pack my training bag le. training camp for the next 3 days. i think will miss dardar a lot >.<>.<>.< haix.

Dar, がんばってね？わたしはあなたが大好き＾＾そして、ありがとう。。。for being there ^^

2009-12-30T23:44:00.001+08:00

今日はダトが始めて。

ありがとう＾＾

大好き＾＾

2009-12-27T17:05:00.003+08:00

a continuation to my December posts xD

well it's eoy ytd. busy day and crazy day for the past 3 days. thurs, fri and sat. chiong last min work again. but nonetheless. ok lah. spending time with friends i like. and especially dar is arnd :X okok i not bias one >.<

thanks wong yi for letting us at ur kirei to okii na uchi >.< hahax

eoy's fun. but not as exciting as b4 due to the venue and everything >.<>.<>.<

then we went to eat at Just Acia. not bad lah the food :) then after that we went arcade siao. haha had a lot a lot of fun. then dar is like so good at jubeat >.< haha. okies lah. think that's all :)

till next time!

ja ne ^^

2009-12-27T00:50:00.003+08:00

well as december came and now that it's coming to an end, guess i shld blog abt my fantastic december 2009 xD

well exams end on the 2 december, and then... 7 december we fly off to japan with NTU Japanese Appreciation Club! ^^ flight number JL712 at 8.50am >.<

7 December 2009

well it's a 7hr flight so i guess i watched some movies on the plane. when i first watch... omg they speak in japanese O.o and i was watching harry potter O.o sound weird LOL

but after that managed to change to english speaking then watch Bolt xD nice movie then never failed to touch me at the ending. ^^

the plane's food not bad worx xD quite nice xD

then soon we reached Narita Airport in Japan! then we sit the Narita Express ???? (ok i onli noe is NEX xD) to Ikebukuro to Chang Tee which is where we gonna sleep for our nights xD. we bought our Suica card and off to Chang Tee then meet a Graduate student for dinner :)

cos the airport and NEX train is relatively warm... the moment we step into the fresh air of Japan at abt 7plus at night.........

寒い!!!!!!

we immediately wrapped ourselves like ba zhang LOL. that was totally unexpected O.o

then after we checked in Chang Tee we immediately went for dinner cos the student had waiting for us quite long >.< ごめなさい>.< we ate tenpenyaki xD not bad. kinda "played" with food but.. all turn out damn nice xD then my table also keep koping food from other tables xD

then after that we jus went back Chang Tee to get use to the environment. FUTONS! xD

おやすみ xD

8 December 2009

early morning woke up and set off to SHIBUYA shopping district with Fabius, Derrick and tagged along by Kelvin and Adeline xD well i think i din buy a lot there cos it's like shopping at orchard and bugis junction xD but nonetheless, i bought a ring necklace there for someone who's now my dar xD din expect though xD jus tot that the ring necklace will look nice cos he wore one during afa and looked nice in it xD

i bought a mickey mouse pen there as well. at a disney building xD the building look very weird one, like er, disney factory? xD the pen very cute also one xD

anyway, jus b4 we went to the disney building.. an accident happened such that 2 taxis banged into each other O.o the phenomenon is that... PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE DISTRICT STOPS. seriously. is like a pause button is pressed O.o then after 5 mins the play button is pressed =.=

we went to eat lunch at a restaurant. hmm one thing i dun like is that there is not a really smoking and non smoking region, and even in enclosed area, ppl can still smoke >.< but nvm, the food's nice xD raw egg plus rice. YUM. with meat luh duh xD

we cleared almost the whole shibuya, and derrick and fabius got me a pea soft toy xD at LOFT. hee damn cute ^^ then b4 we make out way back, we ate at a ramen shop cos derrick was bugging us for it xD not bad lah. hahaha but well, japan food's kinda ex sia >.<

then after that we take pictures of the famous Cross Roads of Shibuya (famous cos the traffic and ppl crossing the roads O.o the structure very different and u definitely cannot c it in SG O.o) then me derrick and fabius found something O.o

TOKYU FOOD SHOW.

typically omg cos all the food O.o but cos adeline not feeling her best and we cannot pangseh her so we made our way back to ikebukuro :) then after that kelvin me derrick and fabius roam the streets of Ikebukuro xD not bad lah the place :) pretty christmas lightings and everything :) oh but that's where we noticed smt O.o there are a lot of guys that in black roaming in the streets... which we realised that they are "hosts" O.o or rather also.. pimps. >.< Fabius said i saved derrick, him and kelvin xD hahaha.

then cos most of the shops in japan closes at 9pm O.o.... we roam the streets till like 12plus then went back to Chang Tee to get ready for the next day xD

お休み＾＾

9 DECEMBER 2009

for one.... お誕生日おめでとう!!!^^ hee ok lah my b'dae hahaha

we went to SHIBUYA (again >.<) cos the uni Aoyama Gakuin university is there xD the campus is very very nice >.<>.<

then tour of the campus xD not bad luh haaaa xD very pretty >.< unlike pulau NTU hahahhaa.

then after that we toured a bit more around shibuya bringing the ppl arnd cos we familiar with the place le xD then went to meet the Aoyama students for dinner at some high class place O.o at first they wan treat one but well... it's a bit expensive luh >.< so we paid like half xD

made some nice friends too :) then they bring us around to see more christmas lightings xD damn nice :)

then after that, well back to Chang Tee :)

10 December 2009

Waseda University. nice campus, nice tour, cute chibi miss tour guide ^^ bought quite a few things at the university though xD cos the shirt and everything. haha ^^ then we went to another campus where we find our friends there ^^ that campus even nicer... soothing and natural ^^ then we bought more food. LOL cos the pocky and tidbits hahaha.

then had my presentation. the lecture hall is O.o luh.

then after that we went tokyo dome to c more lights and ate ice cream O.O (in the winter LOL) and thennnnnn THAT'S WHERE I STARTING TO SPENT ON ANIME LOL. bought a toufa poster, and many gachas... hahahah xD fun sia xD

then after that went ikebukuro to eat shabushabu ^^ nice lah. the sensei treated us O.O lols

then went back Chang Tee :)

11 December 2009

Toshiba Museum. well as the thing is in the afternoon, we get to sleep in and did a bit of shopping near the area. however... IT WAS RAINING WHOLE DAY.... 1) wet 2) damn cold. LOL we were practically breathing out mist xD and had fun playing it. ahhaha

well the museum is facinating, jus like going to Discovery centre or science centre. had a bit of fun there haha.

then after that we went to eat sushi! xD very very nice at tsukiji there hahax. then we went somewhere on the Ginza line to go kinokuniya xD and played with more breathing out mist xD

then went back to ikebukuro le lor. cos waseda already took up whole day.

12 December 2009

we went ASAKUSA ^^ to go to the temple ^^ then bought the charm ^^ nice... was looking forward in getting it (but in the end meiji shrine one was nicer O.o)

lunch at takadanobaba. the ramen... yum yum xD long queue somemore. haha

then after that we went harajuku. well, kinda wasted our time there.. cos nth much >.<>.< onli noe there quite a lot of visual kei stuff and of course! CREPES hahaha. very nice ^^

then after that we went royal host ( a restaurant ) the food there not bad. jus a bit expensive... and it's SHIBUYA AGAIN. lol

then after that we went to a pet shop there. DAMN KAWAII THE PETS >.< get to carry a dog xD

then we went Book Off. omg. THE COMICS!!! second-hand but is like good condition and freakingly cheap. bought my full set peacemaker there. xD hee. though i dun think i can understand. oops. hahahaa

then jiu go back ikebukuro le xD oyasumi ^^

13 December 2009

THE DAY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO!!!! AKIHABARA!!! woots xD i go there i was typically jumping like crazy xD. but lucky got Suzuki san and Taka san to bring us arnd if not i sure wont get my stuff >.< bought seitokai file (first damage), then yami-san, many gachas, calendar, saint seiya, rin, saber... WOW. lol.

damn shiok. then went maids cafe also xD hahaha. ate yoshinoya for lunch ^^ then the guys ate MOS burget for dinner xD. then..........

WE WENT KARAOKE at ikebukuro! expensive is expensive lah. but we definitely had a lot of fun. all the jap songs, chinese songs, english songs.. and of cos... GEE! hhaha kelvin damn high luh hahaha. xD haha fun day lah ^^

14 December 2009

Soka University. we were late cos held ups and plus it's quite far. but the campus is really really nice >.<>.<>.< made more new friends and etc xD

then after that they went lesson. well hope to c some of them at ntu soon xD look forward to it! xD

then we went... er. shibuya again =.= lol. for boots and TOKYU FOOD SHOW xD finally get to eat. damn damn damn nice >.< hahax

then we went to TOKYO TOWER!!!! pretty~~~ >.< damn nice xD pictures!!!! but really lah. SAMUI SAMUI. is really freaking cold and the wind damn strong. LOL but still the night scene of tokyo tower is pretty :)

then oyasumi xD

15 December 2009

Last official free full day in Japan. so morning we went harajuku's MeijiShrine. SAW A TRADITIONAL JAPANESE WEDDING!!!! omg is like so nice :)

then we walked from harajuku to shibuya to eat Matsuya (something like yoshinoya :) ) then after tat, AKIHABARA again xD. cos me and derrick wan get shirts. spent another bomb there >.< then ate okonomiyaki at Yebisu Garden place with the friends we noe in japan :). is quite ex lah. but if share with ppl is actually quite cheap :) so yah not bad. the food damn nice :) then also had a lot of fun playing the cooking. haha

and also when we were eating, Chika-san found a hair in the okonomiyaki we were eating. then the person changed a brand new one O.o. prob is we already ate 3/4 of it le. LOL

if in singapore got like this meh. wait long long LOL

then after that we say bye bye and back to ikebukuro for last min shopping O.o all chiong pocky LOL. we are like clearing 7-eleven stores of pockys and tidbits that we cannot find in singapore. or rather, we kept doing that when we go to any conveient stores. damn funny lah. think ppl will think us as never eat pocky or tidbits b4. LOL hahaha

then went back to pack our bags le >.<

16 Decmeber 2009

day to leave japan. at first morning wake up to go market one. but couldnt wake up. in the end heard from the guys the market also not open xD. so i woke up and went 7-eleven to get the final fantasy can and also oden for myself xD cos last day to be able to eat oden >.<

then pack and clear up the room at 10 plus to leave for narita airport. heng we left early. cos i guess everyone bought tooooo much le. hhaa everyone luggage overload xD. including mine where i go with 10kg come back with 21.6 kg xD haven even include the figmas yet xD.

bought a lot more stuff at the airport such as choya, shiroi koibito and royce choc >.<>.< bought more alcohol in airport xD then reach home at arnd 2plus LOL

ok well. that's all for japan trip xD ps photos still uploading >.<

2009-12-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

a day to remember.

ありがとう＾＾

2009-12-18T15:41:00.001+08:00

okok i'm back from japan!!!! okok haha.. but now a bit lazy to write abt my trip lah.. cos now that i'm back, nid to chiong the cosplay stuff le >.< so yah. will update soon!!! all the funny things on the trip :) haha :)

2009-12-06T01:14:00.003+08:00

a fun fun fun fun fun day today..... ok is 昨日le xD

in a sense. i had the best 誕生日 ever in my life.... with the group of ppl i really love the most...

the FSN team :)

well... at first is the workshop, but obviously i carn do anything cos had the presentation up front. the most important.. had yuyuan helped me a lot a lot... >.< ありがとう！！！

then after that we went out to eat... well ta bao... but i was like dunno much though i sensed smt wrong le..

in the end cash studios!!!! xD well is unexpected, but clues were there lah so hahahaha...

some cock ups. but still ok. i really had fun.. 下手の歌から、ごめね>.<

hahax yuyuan sing damn well lah!!!! >.<

but well... i really really appreciate everything. touched and everything though it aches my heart to c u all spend.... but... think this will etch into my memory the most... >.<

みんな～本当にありがとう。。。。
singage
wong yi
chiho
alvin
jim
yuyuan
valerie (who still come when she's damn sick)
jia jun
and also joreen the other b'dae girl :)

and i also noe marcus. thanks for planning xD

damn damn touched... my love for u all increased a thousand fold le >.<

hahahx i really love u all >.<

thanks many...

一言难尽.

2009-11-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad to think.

どうして。。。

2009-11-23T15:00:00.003+08:00

ok it's monday! zzz now got some time time to blog wad's up for the past few days. din get the chance to do ytd cos was chionging mugging for today's exam. tml's jap so i guess got some time.

金曜日 - 十一月二十日二零零九年
午後五時 Bedok

ウォン.イ一のうちへ行きました！exciting :X so excited that thurs i couldnt concentrate on econs :X but in anycase, it was my firt sleepover! ok but we din sleep :X cos chiong wigs, weapons till like wee hrs then watch paranomal activity O.o and i was onli girl. LOL

土曜日 - 十一月二十一日二零零九年
午前四時半　ウォン.イ一の部屋

like wad. MAKE UP TIME!!! i think i feel damn paiseh lah.. a girl. but a guy's make up set is better than me and he can draw eyeliner better than me T.T

ok wells.

all done up and sit singage's car to suntec.

reach abt 7.30am. and guess wad. ALREADY GOT PPL IN QUEUE o.O

we ate macs there whike waiting for everyone's arrival then i go get my pass and go in firsdt. well of cos the guys went to shop and shop and burn lui. i jus bought a cute kawaii saber badge ^^ BUT I SHLD HAVE BOUGHT THE NENDO RIN LAH T.T freaking kawaii T.T

ok nvm. then next up's the big thing

everyone dress up and make up at the carpark. then we made our appearance.
at first ppl start noticing us... but no phots yet.. then when we were waiting for our photog to come....

the photo taking session starts.

and we got videoed by animax.

AWESOME.

damn cool.

BEST EVER!

then we jus go arnd walking to attract attention shun bian explore afa. the best epic was our act from FSN epi 1 to dunno wad. FUNNY. hahahaha

then after that most of the time was spent downstairs lah. th much but oh wells :) got more attention anyway. guess the most epic one was the one VS KHR

Singage: Illya and Kyoko, sit down and cry.

LOL everyone laugh lah! best epic-ness. LOL

then after that we call it a day le. cos guess everyone's tired and some of us the lack of sleep. (i reach home hit bed K.O.ed LOL)

then after clean up we went marina square food court to eat, our first meeting place with wong yi and jim :)

then a lot of lame ideas came up.. epic-ness again. LOL

k lah. i guess that's all i can say for AFA.

a brand new experience
a brand new fun
a new impact
and most important

a brand new close friendship
家族 - that's wad we are.

i bring you...
Team Fate/Stay Night

2009-11-18T00:18:00.004+08:00

well.

happy birthday daddy..

お誕生日おめでと、お父さん。。。

guess i can onli say it here. cos i'm stuck in hall mugging, and there's no way i can call him to tell him....

no matter how much i hope or wish, that's it.

that time a uncle asked me, "do u have any regrets?"

of cos i do.

he haven c me enter uni, onli c i got accepted.
haven c me grad
haven c me get a job
haven c me get a boyfriend
haven c me get married
haven become a grandparent

the many have nots.

and he left us on 六月二十日にせんきゅうねん....

he never even c me in my cosplay costume.
c me sing on stage for the first time.

daddy, happy birthday.
wish me all the best for exams? :)

miss u loads...

おやすみ。
じゃね。

2009-11-16T00:40:00.002+08:00

second time i'm saying this but.. SHIT THE SPARTAN.

zzz first time i'm like taking more than 5hrs doing 1 freaking report. partly becos i dun like computer lab reports.. for another is that I CARN UNDERSTAND WAD'S GOING ON??!!!! T.T

ok wadeva...

well while i shld be studying, i went out whole day on sat to enjoy myself b4 the horror starts.. ok not exactly cos there's another one on coming sat. :X

first up! 淵妹ちゃんとSINGAPORE　PHILATELIC MUSEUM　へ行きました！went to c the Edo-Kimekomi Dolls ^^ well 妹ちゃんgot scared cos their hair :X

でもでも！妹ちゃんはおとといきれいですね！ok crap my japanese. yuyuan dressed damn nice ytd :) but well, it was a prelude costume for the upcoming saturday lah :X hahax :)

then after that we went chinatown to get her golves.. ちょっとたかいですね。。。妹ちゃんごめね。。。>.<　BUDGET!!! T.T i failed T.T

then after that meet the rest at clarke quay... and well, that's where i got angry... cos for 1, LATE. but that another thing... when ever is our team early? :X the thing was the settling of the wigs is freaking LONG. 1) wigs din exactly all arrived with glitches here and there. hmmm. 2) took damn long for goodness who noe y.

so i got angry lor. think scared tio val and yuyuan. psps :X

but after that at wong yi hse is FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN AND MORE FUN!!! hahaa the photo shoots... the guys damnnn shuaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...... hahahax :X

then after that dinner at KFC.. guess wad. a lvls chemistry discussion time. HAHAHAHAHAA. funny. :) but wellm bring back the old discussion days. very long never like that le :X memories... :X

went home suppose to do SPARTAN but i guess i knocked out... :X haix....

k lah time to go back to mugging and SPARTAN.. zzz

じゃね！

2009-11-13T01:58:00.002+08:00

ARGHHHHHH I FREAKINGLY SCREWED UP MY FIRST ORAL FOR JAPANESE LANGUAGE!!!! どうして？？!!!

1 freakingly easy question. i jus screw it up. DAMN IT. and somemore is like i immeditely realise after i step out of the room. WTHHHHHH. shit the 「よる」. grrrrrr....

ok forget it. shld be enough after whining for so many hours.. do better for exam paper lor >.<

次いで>.<

zzz y i always like to think so much... and somemore is stuff that is of no use. kind of bothered with things around me that actually got nth to do with me.

sometimes i think i just putting a false strong front.

there are times that i feel that i wan to revert back to my shit personality in secondary sch. the "spolit" brat with ultra hot tempered. in a sense... hmmm. let's jus say leviathan is still arnd? acutally i dunno wad's up with me... maybe u can say i have never wanted something to happen so badly?

i kinda sick of playing this role for the past 3-4 years.

totally.

let's jus say i'm jus whining over nth.

じゃね。

2009-11-09T19:34:00.002+08:00

何？！！日本語のlisteningテストが本当に難しいですね！本当LVL1ですか？！！T.T

the speed is like Bernkastel talking to Ange in episode 19 or the speed used in fate/stay night novel lah~ wad the hell~~~ T.T

どうして～～T.T

haix well.. oralテストがんばりますよT.T

ok nvm...

well dunno y recently a wave of envy, sadness and confusion caught me... well... it's not even expected in the first place... 知らないでしょう？

dunno lah dunno lah. let me go back mugging T.T

and cosplay.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
so many things to do and so little time... wth? alvin jus make me face up to the stuff i already thought abt it on sunday. ばか。

no more take a step at a time... i nid more 時間！！！！

2009-11-05T17:12:00.002+08:00

mood: leviathan + satan + T.T

why? cos it's the second time i failed an interview as a GL. interview notice came late... and now i din get it. YAH I DIN. first time was internal politics which ok heck. wad abt now? T.T someone tell me where i fail. :( cos the most confident i'm in is my interviews.. and now like that....

haix. bye juniors :(

next.

today argue with the teacher till i wan to cry... seriously. and like wad cindy said, he's also my favourite teacher. yet he dun wan us consult him.... something like, his duties on restricted in the classroom and never outside. and wad. we tioed pangsehed?

i felt like i'm abandoned.

totally.

the insecurites and stuff... haix.

even the sky is crying. today's a bad day for me...

i think the gl thingy kinda affected me. saying abt lucifer. haix.
though i told my friends that "huh, din get ar. ok lor nvm. can concentrate on training and cosplay also" but seriously... it wont affect me? i think not. i love interacting with juniors. and now my onli source is gone. G.O.N.E. cindy say S.A. during year 3? i dun mind.. seeing the guys of my batch and girls of my sisters' batch. but then again. haix...

go away lucifer.

i dunno lah... nth seems to be going my way.. exam stress? i dunno~ dun really wanna think.... 101, 102 103 screwing up on me. except 104. LOL 101 is at first not suppose to. but with guai lan questions like "water is good to make soup" wad else can come out?

idiotic.

k lah. 日本語の授業は六時半に始めます。ちょっと寝ます。それから、授業へ行きます。
じゃね。

2009-11-04T19:07:00.002+08:00

leviathan and satan jus got me.

zzz.

nvm. dunno y on earth am i that big hearted to do all this. but oh wells. who ask both of them are ppl that i like?

haix.　しらないしらないしらない！！！grrr...

k lah. this week finally can slack a bit. A BIT.

cos at least i finish the report for this week liaoz. woots! ^^

but... sia lah... exams are coming... haix...

好烦啊！！

k lah k lah. back to studies.. 勉強しますよ！＞。＜
放得下是放得下，但牵挂难免会有的。
问世间情为何物？
我这么做，是笨还是蠢？

2009-11-02T01:27:00.002+08:00

requested by 妹ちゃんto update my blog, i shall do so then with actually no time to spare >.<

先週。。。
レポート、レポート。。。grr like no ending.. sacrificing sleep for these sickening reports. well who ask them to be like wad. 30% of our final grade? T.T work hard then lor.. a bit sianz.. cos it's like finished 2 but 2 more jus came into the "sack". zzz sian one leh~~ but well, that's a science student's life in uni. wad to do? haha.. Labs が大好き、でもレポートが嫌いですよ>.< and sad to say they come in a package.

unavoidable T.T

well, i think none of us expected uni life to be like so... BUSY? who say uni life is easy?? wa lao. kinda feel kena cheated. but well, ok lah.. gain a lot ^^

次いで。。。
わたしは十二月に日本へ行きますよ！^^ it's totally like a dream come true~ でもね、i had to give up going to penang with the girls >.< kinda sad actually, cos neither choice i made i felt 100% happy and comfortable... saying abt opportunity cost bahx :(

but before all these fun, exams are coming!!! argh!!! T.T ヴェネッサ、がんばって!!!! T.T as if. lol. reports till now are not giving me a breathing space to study... T.T

but nonetheless, i have to say, まい土曜日がすきですよ！ok lah cos it's our cosplay meeting and i'm finally not the onli girl for the meetings!!! ありがとう妹ちゃん＾＾for willing to come for the meetings hahax :) i had loads of fun ^^

昨日halloweenです。we kinda had our own mini celebration or fright night after we done some stuff.. scary is still ok lah since the person who kena saboed is 翔君＾＾not us... haha... でもでも! i accidently scared 妹ちゃんwith my fright night encounter... ごめね！haha. after that we had dinner at macs cos chiho wanted the sentosa cove... is like OH PLS LA... lols..

after that arcade... DAMN FUN! ok we sat the stimultor... the seat belts are seriously redundant lah.... cos the "fright" was kinda reduced... but nvm stil fun ^^ then after that jiu go home le T.T y saturdays always pass so fast?

k la, time to go back to my report T.T in any case, seriously, i nid to がんばってon my にほんご... if not it's like damn sad one lor >.< hahax

k lah k lah time to go... じゃね！

2009-09-21T10:53:00.002+08:00

i'm totally entirely sick of myself...

after the ultra long convo with him. a weird one somemore... and it totally stabs into my heart. but y do i still continue to help him? WHY?!

しらない。

all i noe is... i had a lot of fun ytd... of cos as usual with the team...

but how i end the day... my heart is still aching now...

this shows how much i love him. but i noe....

it can onli be impossible, except to watch over him....

2009-09-17T04:26:00.002+08:00

i miss my dad... :( haix.. not longer able to tell him how's my sch or even hear him ask abt my sch...

how are u daddy? in the afterworld?
.
.
.

私はあなたが本当に大好き。。。でも。。。あなたのこころ。。。

i dunno wad to say haix.

something from the twilight series.. to be able to "contain" 2 person in ur heart.. where issit possible?

yes it is...

my life's a mess... in a sense i dunno wad to do.. i'm damn stress out.. and really nid someone to listen to me.. be there for me..

growing up is so not fun.. yes less restrictions and everything. like i'm able to blog at like wad. 4.30am in the morning with class at 8.30 and no one's there to nag at me. but so wad? i feel emotionally empty.

work
stress
cosplay
stress
uni
stress
money
stress
future
しらない。

大丈夫？しらない。

2009-09-08T01:31:00.002+08:00

well, a successful birhday party held on sat, 5th sept, for him, for his birthday on the 8th.

and gave him a chance to confess something that he din do it 3 years ago.

emo.. it din find me that day as the grp is too high and fantastic. and i did made a new great and wonderful friend.

which is his angel.

well. wad's mine will be mine so no point brooding over it i guess. *sigh*

i jus wonder when will my heart be totally able to let go?

ほんとうにしらない。

i dun think i wanna even think abt it.

oh wells. the party.

guess it's the first ever party i planned, and cos we have the right ppl and present, we really had a hell load of fun ;)

cake smash, tau pok, water, colgate, apple, peg, questionair, TRUTH, 7WONDERS, eyeliner and nail polish and performance... haha

and lan at iluma afterwards.

SHIOK AR. lols

haha...

well, i'm glad we had a lot of fun torturing the birthday boy.. and guess he like it as well :). so yah.

kudos to everyone :)

2009-09-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

reflections~

i'm late on my tutorials again.

ok but not as late as last week.

honestly. i think i'm putting myself in a lot of commitments. too much in fact.

but none that i can give up.

studies, dragonboat, cosplay, JAC, VAC, hall stuff and etc etc..

ok the main problem is the first 3...

do i have the time? i really dunno..

will i be alright? shiranai....

my mood abt him is ok le bahx? he's still my mind most of the time. i noe i'm being stupid but yah...

all i hope is jus a tini bit more attention from u.

that's all i'm asking for...

actually. i dunno abt myelf already...

like wad he said, this time round, i think it's me that suicided and reborn...

but i think i reborn too fast le lah...

well characteristics of a saggittarius bahx? :X

k lah. back to tut. ja ne.

2009-08-31T00:53:00.002+08:00

i'm confused.

a lot of stuff is on my mind.

now i'm not sure if i can cope. seems like i'm overloading myself? i dunno.

i'm scared. really.

my mind is full of stuff.. this and that. and i'm kinda lost?

am i doing the right thing? someone pls lead me the way?

2009-08-30T13:53:00.000+08:00

a question that i dunno wad or how to answer...

y am i doing so much for him?

his birthday.. even the stuff of the girl he likes...

can jus freakingly give him his present and that's it.. but y am i doing so much?!

seriously... i dunno myself le...

2009-08-27T02:29:00.002+08:00

i guess my blog is the onli place that i can really let my true feelings flow out...

as much as i wanna cry... but the tears jus wont flow... it jus stay inside.

i think my friends are sick of listening to me complain and etc. getting troubled over smt i shldn't have even started. and yet. i jus let myself sink in.

did my chem tut for 1.5hrs. surprisingly easy. but not one moment he wasn't in my head.

cos y? it's chemistry. his fav sub. best sub.

ppl jus dun understand y on earth i like him. they even thought it's not even liking. jus treating him as a best friend. well, he's jus an immature idiot.

but too bad. i'm the stupid one.

hurtful things he said. and it really hurt. really. like slashing his weapon into my heart.

and yet there i am. making fun of him and the girl he like along with the others. and i can laugh it off.

and after that feel sick of myself. seriously.

noble. strong.

i'm not that at all.

on conversation, i guess i can. but seriously, i dunno how on earth will i react if i were to face them. both of them. now that the girl's on the team.

break down like wad taichou said? perhaps.

i seriously dunno how will i react.

my heart is hurting.

and no one's there to cure it.

yah i got my friends with me. and i seriously thank them. really. deepest gratitude.

but i guess, it's the stubborn me that cannot let go. is not that i wanna let go. but jus that as much as i told myself to let go, my heart wouldn't. head over heart. the head jus fails.

that's how much i'm in love with him.

despite him being the biggest git ever.

i dunno wad to do... really. someone to pull me out of this? seriously.

i dun wan night after night to keep thinking of him. and yet be awoken of the fact that he's gonna jio the girl. too much for me? i dunno. i wanna join in the teasing as well..

contradicting.

irony.

i really dunno wad to do..........

2009-08-24T16:46:00.002+08:00

well time to clear the spider webs. haha

well sch have started for the 3rd week le, so yah i'm officially an undergraduate! haha ok a bit slow....

tentatively.. sch kinda sucks! CARN UNDERSTAND a thing in lectures. all the chemistry and physics.. omg. COME ON I SIGN UP FOR BIO OK! lol haha okies.

shall endure. lol. no choice wad...

shit some idiot. damn it.

i noe i jumped into a hole that is ccfm a trap. but i never expect myself to fall into the worst pit i ever fallen.

life circulating arnd someone.

i think that's wad happening. upon news and more news i'm hearing, i realised how much i've linked up my life with him. totally. the linkages, the bondings. and now, i think i nid to break them up, unless some miracle happens... which is highly impossible.

liking someone to the highest level is hope that person will be happy. so, in my heart, i do hope he get together with that girl of his dream, missed a chance few years back, i hope this time round he can make it. as much as i hope the girl is me, but too bad, so sad, that's not it. well the girl is compatible with him. so yah....

jus hope he can be happy.

as much as i like him, i guess i have to keep it in my heart? though i think he noes and jus acting blur, i guess there's nth i can do but to accept the loss and go back to the sidelines, watching and cheering as the show progresses. wad i'm really sad abt, is that i lost without a fight. as wad happen to him years back. why does it happen to me? where's the brave girl of few years back? y the cowardice?

the wound caused this time round.

how long will it heal? i'll never noe.

cos i noe, i still carn let it go.....

2009-07-19T11:19:00.000+08:00

i tioed killed. XD ahaha

2009-07-17T13:19:00.003+08:00

it's been a long long time since i've blogged. bascially too busy with my cosplay stuff, and well, too much things happening.

for one, the "present" i received for graduating to go uni was the demise of my dad. i had been running away from the news of his illness and seriously if it's without my team mates in cosplay and some of my close friends, i would have really lost and dunno wad to do.

so here, i thank everyone who have showed concern for me. thank you.

then. the biggest event of my life. COSFEST VIII 2009 A VERY HAPPY EVENT!!!! omg that's my first cosplay event ever!!!! well other than the shaking from singing Colours of the Heart, malu from the stupid single skit, i still had a lot of fun! haha Caramelldansen!!!! haha and yah... not forgetting ALEX LEWIS ARMSTRONG!!!!!!!!

omg ppl let's go Y.A.O.I!!!! hahahahaha

well photos are up on my facebook so yah :) i shall post one nice grp photo here :)
so till next time... じゃ！またした！

2009-04-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

life's never the same again :(

2009-03-06T00:13:00.001+08:00

Judgement.

GG.

well all the best to u ppl :)

2009-02-27T00:28:00.002+08:00

ok things are finally back on track after past few days which is horrendous. well, there are bad stuff, but i think we can jus tide them over.

so sry abt that post earlier. if i've offended u ppl...

oh wells. i guess all i can do is bite on and hold on. who call me to be the leader?

work. as usual. the gossip and the busy matchmaking sessions for me. zzz... can someone jus be my boyfriend and save me from all this?

better be someone like my cute hitsugaya, shuai kaname, and new character joining de family - Cool Vongola de First. LOL

or Makoto from Wii Juilet.

LOL i'm thinking too much. hahahahaha

well. got time then talk more bah.. now need to write notes for my dear sister... YES TEACHING AT 12.35AM.

wow.

cya ppl. じゃね :)

わからない。。。my life have been busy... MY ANIME BABIES~

lol. otaku =.=. haha

2009-02-24T23:14:00.002+08:00

wad's up with de after A's life? nothing's going smooth for me.

1) JOB: well i got a not bad job, but faced fully wiht office politics. i nid toshut my mouth up, GET OFF WORK PUNCTUALLY. standard. well, kind of expected.

2) Cosplay team: finally a YAY i'm cosplaying. but wad now? fully paced with obstacles and i'm de ldr. yes i dun mind doing everything for u but hey, I APPOINTED AND U VOLUNTEERED TO BE A HEAD. now wtf. i dunno this i dunno that. are u kidding me? a team talks fully abt team spirit. but it's like i'm the one moving on. pushing to get stuff done, planning. YOU CALLED FOR THE MEETING. but wad. UR PRICES JUS GO UP, UP AND UP. u tot we print money issit. and u plan everything last min. I WERE TO DO THIS I WERE TO DO THAT. wtf? u wna no cosfuck but u are not helping ANYTHING.

and ppl are backing out due to de money. i understand. i have to let go. but wad? everyone noes Cosplaying is dump money. and i said b4 once in no out. and now wad. putting me in a difficult position? and wad's more it's de main lead.

am i jus being naive? ambitious? in a sense i din OPT to do this anime in de first place. i wanted something CHEAPER, EASIER. but wad. OVERPLAYED. true. true. cosplay meant to be special in a event. a memorable memory.

i dun mind doing all de work, i dun mind planning all de stuff. i dun mind cracking my brain and stressing myself out. all i jus is a full hearted particiaption. i put in my heart and soul. but are u guys doing it as well? i noe some is a definite yes. but wad abt the rest?

i'm looking forward to this team. but will i be disappointed?

i dunno.

~*10th SqUaD cApTaIn Hitsugaya Toushirou * SoUtEn nI zAsE, HyOuRiNmArU*~

第幾個100天 By JJ Lin

~10th SqUaD cApTaIn Hitsugaya Toushirou SoUtEn nI zAsE, HyOuRiNmArU*~